Matt Charlton

I’m sat here using my Spotify premium subscription to the max this evening, listening to some Michael Jackson stuff.

Feeling quite sad at the moment really.  We should have seen him at the O2 last month – we’d have been there on the 10th so pretty much a month ago.

I remember when I managed to get one of the pre-sale codes and then when I managed to get the tickets ordered.  We were on the floor, 2nd block back.  Amazing tickets.  It was going to be the experience of a lifetime.  I’d booked a hotel in the Docklands, we were all set and then we watched in horror as news filtered in over twitter that he’d had a cardiac arrest and then that he’d sadly passed away.

No matter what you thought of the guy, and despite all the negative press and stories over the years, you can’t deny that he had a profound effect on the world of music.  I remember my mum listened to him a lot when I was growing up.  He’d always been one of her favorites.  She still loves the music now.  I remember watching Moonwalker – the Smooth Criminal routine still impresses me to this day.  Michael turning into a car was a bit strange but I guess compared to the other things he had happen in his life it wasn’t all that outlandish.

It’s still wierd to think that he’s gone – listening to his music and you almost forget, then you remember and it feels so sad that someone so talented had their life cut short.  I know there were doubts about his ability to do all 50 concert dates but I didn’t see it playing out like this.

Anyway – enough random blog posting.  Just thought I’d write about how I was feeling at the moment.

So, it’s the 17th of December. 

I get paid on Friday, that’ll be the last time I get paid in 2008.  We’ve just watched this week’s Heroes – that’s the last of the TV (unless you count Private Practice) this year – most of the shows are back in mid-January, the others are back  in Febuary. 

Before most of the TV shows come back we’ll see the start of the new series of 24.  Redemption was really good – sets the new series up nicely.  I’m not sure if the plan for S7 is still the same as it was when the trailer was released pre-writers strike. 

Still working our way through Buffy.  Started at the end of Season 2 a few weeks ago, I love the whole Buffy/Angel Becoming/Innocence storyline.  The season finale with her having to kill Angel even after Willow has managed to restore his soul still makes me well up every time. 

The TV we watch these days is a lot more grown up than Buffy/Angel.  Bones has David Boreanez in it but it’s a much more adult orientated show.  I guess the kids these days watch Smallville (got bored of that around season 5) and the OC and god knows what else. 

Just started to get into Fringe – rather like that so far from what I’ve seen.  Very X-Filesy and the casting is great. 

So anyway, I digress. 

It’s the 17th, there are 8 sleeps until Christmas.  14 days left until 2009.  We’re getting awfully close to a 10th of the way through this century.  Nearly an entire decade over and done with. 

Not long until 2015 – where are the hoverboards?!  What about that self drying jacket and the power laces?!  I’m talking to you Robert Zemeckis :p

Funny how they thought the future would turn out from 1985.  30 years into the future.  If that film (trilogy) was made today, what sort of predictions do you suppose they’d make now?  It’d probably be all doom and gloom with all that Global Warming rubbish (blame the cows or the volcanoes tbh). 

There was something on TV tonight – on the One Show (crappy magazine tv show thingy) where a vegetarian was pleading with the Country to give up meat and become a veggie.  Fuck Off.

The average person eats 11,000 animals in their lifetime – you can save animals by giving up meat. 

What a load of bollocks.

The only reason these animals exist is because they are bred to be eaten.  Meat good.  Sprouts bad.

It’s getting close to that meal where I’m forced to eat sprouts.  Horrible things they are, hate them.  I think I had some sprouts a year or so ago that didn’t taste too bad, they were sweet.  Not sure what was going on with them.  Maybe they were fake sprouts. 

Another year goes by.  It’s been a funny one really, new job, lots of ups and downs.  At least it looks like I don’t have to worry about SAD anymore.  Means I can probably sell the lightbox. 

It’s the shortest day on Sunday, starts getting lighter after that.  Cool.  I’ve been enjoying these dark nights though, they’re all cosy. 

I could go on, but I’ve waffled enough, *Clicks Publish*

More Buffy!

The last couple of weeks have been a little traumatic to say the least. 

I’m not going to go into any detail at all here, it’s not the place and I think more than enough words have been wasted with the whole thing.  I can’t say I’m overly happy about the end result or some of what was said (by either party) – I think some of it was more than a little unfair but I’m not going to dwell on it.  I’d love to completely vent my spleen on here and get it all out in the open, but I’m better than that and I don’t think it’s fair – I’m not lowering myself to that.

It’s put a few things into perspective for me, made me question what friendship actually is, think about what I what I feel constitutes a good friend.

It also gave me a kick up the arse and do something I’ve been wanting to do for a good few months.  Way back when in April 2002 (thats getting on for seven and a half years ago) I started playing a little game called Jedi Knight 2.  It was my first proper online gaming experience, I met quite a few people and made some really good friends. 

We even formed a guild, Tie fighters.  We had a tag <-0-> (how cool is that?)  We also had variations, one of them being (-o-)

For one reason or another things came to a head with one of them last year, words were exchanged and we went our seperate ways.  I’ve always regretted what happened there.  One of the best friends I could ever wish for and we were no longer talking.  The events of yesterday made me send the email I’ve been meaning to send for the last couple of months and we’re now talking again – at least over email. 

I don’t know if we’ll be able to build up the same level of friendship as we had before but I’m going to try my hardest to make the best of it that I can.  He’ll probably read this at some point anyway :p 

Building bridges is the way forward.  Especially if you’re faced with an impassible chasm.  If you’re stuck in 1855 though and the bridge isn’t finished though, you should be able to use a train to push the delorean up to 88mph before the end of the bridge, arriving safely back in 1985. 

It’s not a case of lose a friend/gain a friend.  I don’t want the reaquantance with my <-0-> buddy to be cheapened by the way that sounds.  It’s just I know that losing a good friend hurts, a lot.  Life is just too short to make enemies, you need all the friends you can get. 

I can’t tell if that sounds anal or not.  Hopefully the general gist of what I’m trying to say will make sense though. 

So, Friendship.

I remember when they brought the friendship finishing moves into Mortal Kombat.  Rather than sticking your hand into someone’s chest and ripping out their still beating heart, you’d hand them a bunch of flowers.  Completely ruined the whole thing for me.  Friendship, pah!

I guess different people want different things out of friendship.  For me I guess the main thing is the companionship, the camaraderie.  I love talking to people, emailing, texting – its all good.  Anything that’s remotely intellectually stimulating.  It also helps if you’re interested in similar things.  There’s nothing better than discussing the latest episode of Top Gear or Doctor Who. 

Having someone to listen when you’re having a bad day, being there for someone when they’re having a rough time.  I think there’s a lot to be said for someone that can listen with an empathic ear.  Someone that can offer advice, make you feel better. 

I like to think I have some of those qualities.  Certainly the listening bits and pieces.  I can listen and quite often I try and offer help and advice when I can.  I’m not saying it’s the right advice, but I try my best :p

I mean, if we look back a few months – take Facebook as an example.  I had 250+ “friends”.  People I used to go to school with, people I’ve worked with, people I’ve met on nights out, people that I’ve met once or twice through other people. 

I decided to have a clear out.  The problem with Facebook is that people have a tendancy to collect friends.  I’ve now got 125 friends.  Notice the lack of “” there :p

There are still a few people I went to school with in my list.  When faced with the decision of who to keep and who to bin, I thought about whether or not I’d actually spoken to the person a) ever b) in the last 6 months.  The a’s were deleted straight away, the b’s were trimmed down over a few weeks. 

There are some lovely people that were in my list of “friends” (they’re back again).  It’s in no way a derogatory thing that they’re not in my list anymore – it’s just, what’s the point?  If we never really spoke much at school, we’re hardly going to be the best of friends now.  If you chat to me every now and again on Facebook or out and about then fine, we’re cool.  Just the whole collection thing really got on my wick. 

It’s like an e-penis.  Nobody cares how many friends you’ve got or how big your e-penis is.  Get. A. Life

‘epenis’ means electronic penis. It is a term that can refer to someones conputer skills or a measure of computer equipment / internet connection / technological prowness. It can be used to indicate that someone is l33t or technologically adapt. It can also be used as an insult, to imply that someone is a newbie or that their computer is lacking.

It was funny – I think I had two people re-add me as friends when they saw I wasn’t on their list any more.  I declined at first, I got another request – so I relented and added them.  They didn’t so much as say hello so a week later they were gone again.  I haven’t had another request since :p

I can’t remember what I was saying now, I went off on a tangent again.  Stupid brain.

Oh yeah, friends and stuff.

I can be a good friend, but I’m not perfect – it depends if you catch me on a bad day (the bad days are becoming rarer and rarer now thanks to most of the causes for my SAD symptoms being removed). 

All I can do is try my best, if that isn’t good enough for you then I’m sorry. 

The word count on this post is insane – over 1100 words.  That’s an essay.  Congratulations if you read all the way down to here!  You can have a cookie

It’s true.

It is.

I realised something today.  It’s quite interesting.

Before I started working at Hanson, I didn’t know what SAD was.  I used to love the Winter nights rolling in, they felt cosy.  You’d have the fire on, it was dark outside, the decent stuff was back on the TV after the Summer break (Noels House Party, Casualty – when it was good, etc).  Then I started working at Hanson, in the server room.

There was one main window which connected the room to a classroom that spent a good three years covered in paper displays.  The other two years it was covered in that frosted coating.  Didn’t let much light in.  Around the corner there was a single window that looked out onto an external area of the school, wasn’t very picturesque and we didn’t benefit from a lot of light from it.

With only having 30 mins for lunch and being surrounded by little (and large) monsters we didn’t get out for lunch much unless it was half term and we’d manage to get out to KFC and McDonalds which was nice.  Didn’t seem to make much of a difference though, the Winters would roll around and even with a 3:30 finish I struggled.

So now we’re fast approaching Winter – it’s dark before I’ve even nearly finished work, let alone before I’m out of the door.  I started to use the lightbox again a month or so ago, towards the end of August actually because we had such a crappy Summer.  It was making a bit of a difference but didn’t seem to be making as much of an impact as in previous years.

Fast forward a few months and I’ve now got a desk right next to a huge window, a massive one.  We’re going out for lunch every day due to a lack of onsite catering.  At first, the walk into town was a bit of a killer – its probably only a mile round trip, if that – but the hill from Dean Clough to the centre of Halifax is quite a steady gradient.  Was quite painful on the old calves.  Now we’re in town in less than 10 minutes and its easy peasy.

Quite fun actually, plus it means that pretty much anything is on the menu for lunch.  Be it KFC, McDonalds, Burger King or Subway.  Most of the time I’m ending up in Greggs – their Steak and crispy onion sandwich is to die for.  You don’t actually realise just how many shops are down there.  There’s a Woolworths, a WH Smiths, GAME, Gameplay.  Alsorts of places for me to spend money.  Which is fun.

There’s also a local supermarket – Sainsburys, which is a slightly closer walk than town (I think), there’s also a Tesco Express in town.  Given the choice, I think I’d rather go down and park up in the car park at work and walk into town than go shopping in Bradford.  Any day.

That’s sad, because I live in Bradford, even if it is a giant hole.  Most of the places I used to shop have gone.  To be fair, long before they stopped trading and got knocked down I didn’t go there.  It’s really not the sort of place you go once you can drive.  The White Rose Centre and The Trafford Centre are much more fun.

Actually, until I started at Frog, I hardly went shopping at all – save for going to supermarkets.  Everything is so much cheaper online.  I know the regular shops have wages and outlay and everything, but there are no crowds on the Internet either.  Crowds suck.  Big time.  Hate them.  There’s nothing worse than a busy supermarket, trying to roll a trolley down an aisle when you’ve got the world’s slowest walking person in front of you and inconsiderate people taking up the rest of the aisle with their trolley sideways.  It’s annoying.  One of my biggest bugbears ever.

Anyway, back on topic – I can’t remember what I was writing about **scrolls up**

Oh yeah, SAD.  So, I’ve got a big window, I’m getting tonnes of natural light, and I’m getting out and about during the day.  Big difference.  I haven’t used my lightbox for over a month.  And I’ve never felt better (except on the weekends, when new Xbox games come out and I don’t leave the house for 48 hours – but that’s another story).

Before Hanson, there was no SAD.  Now I’ve left, I’m pretty sure that the SAD is on it’s way out too.

I think that Sue working the last few Christmas’ days and to be honest the run up to Christmases has spoiled it for me too.  She’s got the whole of Xmas week off, and most of the week after too.  We’ll get to spend some time together and listen to Christmas music, watch some Christmas films.

I already started last week.  We watched Home Alone and Gremlins.  Classics.

Thats what Christmas is all about, spending some quality time with the people that you love.  The last few years I’ve not looked forward to it – I knew that Sue was working Christmas and it just took the shine off the whole thing for me.

I’m looking forward to Christmas, and I’m looking forward to the long Winter nights.  Bring em on.

So here’s a nice finish to this extra long post -

You only get one shot (unless you’re a follower in one of those religions that believes in reincarnation) at this life.  Make it your best one.  Live it to the full.  Don’t hold grudges (unless the person is a real arsehole ) and take every chance that you get.  You never know which day might be your last so live every one to the full.

Tuesday 28th October signalled that it had been exactly three months since I started at Frog.  Basically this means that my probation period is over and I’m now a permanent employee.  Fantastic  

I’m still really enjoying the work and I’m learning so much it just feels so invigorating and refreshing. 

We completed another office move this week, the desks have been moved around to try to make the layout a little more fluid and sit departments who need to talk to each other closer together.  I’ve ended up with a window seat which is great for my SAD.  combined with getting out at lunchtime in the daylight means that the last few weeks have been much better than the last month or so.  The main reason for me ending up with the window this time round is because we’ve flipped sides, so we’re now facing towards the front of the office, I need to talk to Al a fair bit and he would have been on my left – absolutely useless for me with me being deaf on my left side. 

I’ve got two days off to use up before the end of the year.  I’m planning on taking Sue away again for the weekend, either sometime in November or December depending on prices and various other factors.

First choice would have been Disneyland Paris, it was generally this sort of time of year when we’ve gone.  Checked Jet2 for prices and it was £19.99 each, each way.  Great – Around £80 for the trip, similar to what I paid last time.  Click Next…… £280.  What…the….fuck?

Taxes, fuel surcharges, baggage fees.  Sod that for a lark. 

Checked Eurotunnel prices, not much different, its too far to drive and it’d be a pain in the arse on a coach. 

Plus just to make sure, I checked the prices for Disney on a three night basis – cheapest I could do it for was £488.  You’re looking at just short of £800 for a weekend away.  Jesus Christ. 

I bet for not a lot more you could do a week in Florida on a no frills. 

So we’re looking at somewhere in this Country again.  Blackpool is going to be mostly closed or filled with stags and hens which I just can’t be arsed with at the moment, Whitby would be really nice but we’d need to stay somewhere close to the town centre, Red House Farm was lovely but when you’re there for a weekend and you don’t have cooking facilities we found it to be a little limiting, especially when Whitby itself was a good 8 mile drive away. 

Theres always Scarborough, its just a case of finding a nice, quiet, central hotel with access to decent, free parking.  Itching to get out with the camera again and since the weekends are my only real oppertunity to do so I want to make the most of it. 

I also fancy just spending an entire day shoving  2p pieces into pacman ball / coin dropper machines.  Its fun.  Some would even go so far as calling it thereapeutic. 

Trying to organise a curry with the people from work next week.  So far its looking good with at least 10 of us going.  Mmmmmm curry.